I’m a professional man in his mid-40s and have lived with his partner for 15 years. Due to mutual choice, we have no children. My partner loves me deeply and is very enthusiastic about me. For the past few years, I have been worried about my feelings. I don’t know if I’m in love or facing a midlife crisis. Certainly, I feel as energetic and less energetic as I used to be. It didn’t help that my libido was so low since the blockade. I’m not as happy with us as I used to be.
We still have a lot in common and feel that my intellect is nourished and challenged. Do I have relationship problems or do I need to sit firmly as I go through this apparently rough life transition?
Eleanor says: Many people think if you’re even asking a question about whether you should leave what you have Your Answer.
I do not think so. I think it’s very common for us to put a restless dissatisfaction with life on the closest thing that isn’t us. We blame our whereabouts, our spouse, and our work. In fact, our fatigue is our own, and even if we quit our job, leave our family, move to Mexico and start over, we will follow us. If you change this, it feels like real life has finally begun, so be careful.
I think the question you face here is whether you want your relationship to feel different or you want a different one.
This is an important difference. Fifteen years can be a daunting task, but it would be amazing if there was no difference in the level of desire, spent a long time together, and even blocked. Many eroticisms live in what we don’t know about each other, what is hidden and what is revealed in the play between mystery and reality. The more you know about someone, the harder it is to stay alive. So when it comes to pajamas and television (even if you get something else), all relationships lose something.
The question is – erotic, want to come back with joy? this person, Or are you a little disappointed because you’ve lost the “excuse” to start over? What sounds more attractive: Rejuvenating newness for newness, or something you’re used to?
It can be very difficult to tell the difference. So let me ask you a question that looks a bit silly, but I thought it would help clarify what I really want. If I reach out and give you a pill that immediately rejuvenates your relationship if you take it, do you take it?Or do you decline because it is still the case? this Relationships, and the facts-no matter how good the relationships can be-do you feel like a problem?
If you take pills, you know that you just want to make this relationship feel different. It does not mean “sit firmly”. That means thinking carefully about regaining some of the unknown mysteries, possibilities.
Give yourself a period of months to try across your chest to rekindle this relationship and ask for all the help you can get – read, listen, Find a therapist together if needed. Don’t expect you to already know the solution, and don’t expect your emotions to change without action. Deliberately pour into your relationship what you want it to pour on you: joy; eroticism; a sense of newness. It’s worth noting how often we stop giving certain things as a quasi-vengeance for the fact that we haven’t got them.
If that period is over and you’re still drifting and uneasy, it may be time to revisit the issue of what you really want. But for now, don’t think about “knowing” if your relationship is fulfilling. Think about whether you want it to be that way.
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Are there any conflicts, crossroads, or dilemmas that need help? Eleanor Gordon-Smith helps you think about life questions and puzzles, big and small. Questions can be anonymous.
I don’t know if I’m falling out of love or if I’m experiencing some kind of midlife crisis | Australian lifestyle Source link I don’t know if I’m falling out of love or if I’m experiencing some kind of midlife crisis | Australian lifestyle